sucky.

This world could use a little less suck. That is all.

fall

It's almost fall like outside, and this excites me for hunting season. Hunting is super fun for me, and even if I come back with nothing, it's always fun. Just being outdoors in Gods playground I enough for me.

its rant time!

Don't you just love it when someone promises they will do something then they back out like four hours before? My dad was SUPPOSED to take me for driving lessons this afternoon. I wouldn't be so damn mad if this was the only time he ever bailed, but it's been constantly. I NEED to learn to drive...and he seems to not care one bit. Fixing computers for my aunt is ten times more important. Gotta love my effed up family.

lifehouse!

So...now radio is currently playing lifehouse. I'm not sure how I feel today...but I'm feeling better and healthier than I was when I was having 5 or6 drinks in a week. It feels good to be running on Gods strength for a change. I had no nightmares or weird sleep disturbances last night either. Life is good :)

day 2, still in a rut.

It's the second day of my daily blogging. Honestly, I'm not feeling even remotely good. I can't sleep without nightmares and weird dreams...I can't be awake without feeling like crap. This is day 7 without a drink and it's feeling like years. I must be an addict. Or it could be I like the way booze makes me feel...one or the other.

feelings

It's been awhile since I last posted anything on this blog...but lately I have so many excess emotions built up, I need to let them go somewhere. I've done alot of dumb things in the past three months, and the things I've done have hurt the ones I love the most. I've cried more in the past two days than I have the rest of the past year. I hate causing pain, I hate getting the third degree. That's why I'm quiet about my struggles. I'll be writing in here more often I think, because I just need to vent sometimes.